a baby

my little sister had her first baby today.

it's one of those things that only happens once, ever, in a lifetime... and now it's gone. i missed it.

i will first see whatever-his-name-will-be when he's 6 weeks old and devoid of that new-newborn charm: the blank eyes that can't see 6 inches past his nose, the tounge that doesn't know it's part of his physiology yet, the grasping fingers, the pure unadulterated innocence... just moments from heaven.

it's occurring to me, as i sit here on this ugly blue couch, halfway around the world, that when you say "yes" to something, you also say "no" to everything else. and sometimes 'everything else' is more important, more substantial, more enjoyable, more life-giving (etc.) than the thing you CHOSE to do.

i could say here "BUT..." or "However..." or "Nonetheless,..."

but there's no "but" or "however" or "nonetheless" tonight. i just wanna go home and see my sister and her new little baby boy.

that's all.

m